It all started with bickering . . .
What?
Beautiful? I don't think so.
But, wait. There's more.
Martini was bitter and bothered that Ethan had a particular Lego minifig that was his and while Martini was eating, Ethan was playing with it. Well, he just couldn't handle it because Ethan got it first but he wanted it (even though he can't have toys at the table nor could he be excused just yet.)
Upon further examination I found that he had remembered (incorrectly it seems) that Daddy had at one time made Martini give up three minifigs to Ethan who already had 13 because Ethan claimed they were his. This would then result in Martini only having two and Ethan having 16.
Example of Lego minifigs (minifigures).
Whoa!! Whoa!!! First of all, we have a rule in this house. A gift received is that person's to play with the whole day without the requirement to share that day and maybe the next day. But, after that, all toys become the whole family's. We are a team. A cohesive unit that works together and shares all things (in theory and desire!).
Soooo, I had Martini talk to Daddy on the phone in tears, and they resolved that either Martini remembered incorrectly (most probable) or Daddy made a mistake. Martini still struggled and said some choice thing to Ethan and punched the air. He then took a set Ethan built and threw it into the bin. Ethan began crying.
Example of a Lego set they painstakingly build by themselves with their never-ending imaginations.
I then send Martini to the room for discipline. I put Giselle down with Ethan and Carmelita and let out a great, big sighing moan with a, "I hate disciplining you guys! Do you know that?!?!" Then, I go to the room with a deflated heart knowing what I have to do and praying for wisdom.
I walk in and Martini is livid. He is red and had tears coming down his cheeks. He felt like he had been so unjustly treated.
Me: Martini, why did you throw Ethan's set in the bin?
M: I threw mine in too!
Me: I don't care about your set. Why did you ruin Ethan's?
M: It wasn't just Ethan's. I put mine in too.
Me: Martini. Stop deflecting. Why did you do that? Did you ask Ethan?
M: No.
Me: No, what?
M: No, ma'am.
Me: OK. Well, you know that I am going to have to give you a spankin'. Martini, you should not have done that. You should have just been loving to Ethan and been the example. He probably would have shared with you if you had just asked.
M: No he wouldn't (now crying). He is so mean! He was laughing and looking at me like, Haha!
Me: Well, he should not have done that. I will talk to him. But still, you should have been loving to him. Who knows, he might have seen you being loving to him and then want to be loving back!
M: It's not fair! Daddy made me give him THREE of my men to him and he already had a huge army with 13 men. That makes 16 for him and I had only two left!.
Me: Martini, we already talked with Daddy. You know that he is always so fair. Being fair is so important to Daddy. You know that! Daddy already said it was either a mistake or maybe you are remembering differently. Anyway, that is not the issue here. We know that Daddy is so loving. Right?
M: Yes, ma'am
Then I had to leave for a moment to help with Giselle or something. Then I returned.
M: I prayed. (he says with his voice breaking)
Me: What?
M: I prayed.
Me: What did you pray for?
M: I prayed that God would help me be nice to Ethan and that he would give me my man back. (he says now crying)
Oh, to hear your child has prayed on his own without prompting is amazing! His spirit was broken and he was going to his Comforter. I could tell he was broken. He wasn't just saying this to get out of a spankin' or to appease me. I KNOW WHEN THAT HAPPENS!
I took my big boy in my arms and just hugged him.
Me: Martini. You did the best thing. I am so proud of you. Son, if all our time arguing and homeschooling and staying at home was to have you pray on your own for these critical learning times, then it is worth it all. This is what counts. I am so proud of you. Now, I need to give you a spankin' but because I see your heart is right, I want to extend grace and not give you one . . . unless you still want one. (I say kiddingly)
M: No, I want one.
Me: What?!?
M: I still want you to give me one.
Me: Why?
M: Because I did something terrible?
Me: What? (I ask wondering what he is talking about. Did he do something else that I don't know about!)
M: I destroyed his set (he is crying again)
Me: Oh, Sweetheart. That was not a nice thing, but I am telling you that I am encouraged by your heart and your desire to do what is right. I'll tell you what. If a spankin' is needed. I will take the spankin.' (I say with tears in my eyes)
M: Nooooo!
Me: Son, I will take it for you, because I love you and I want to extend grace.
M: Noooo, Mommy. I don't want you to.
Me: OK. Well, you are free and I want you to go and play with your brother.
We hugged and I just have been praising the Lord so much for such a moment.
Thank you Lord!!! So many things reminded me of your goodness with this short interaction:
1.) The need for justice by EVERYONE. It is indelibly printed on the hearts of all men and children get that concept at a very young age . . . even 3-year-olds. God is a just God who requires payment for our sins.
2.) How loving MyLove is to his children. He can't stand the thought of favoritism or injustice. There is just no way he would be knowingly unfair. God is the same with all. He died for the whole world . . . not an elect few! John 3:16
3.) My heart hurt to think that Martini still wanted the spankin' for what he had done. I love him so much that I would take it for him (I would die for my children, but you know what I mean). Jesus Christ love each one of us . . . each human being so much that he took the due punishment for each of us and died with our sins and the guilt of our sins on Himself. It is too much to fathom, really.
All glory and praise to Him!!!
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